New Year's Resolutions 2010

As 2009 comes to a close, it’s time to look forward as well as back. For many folks, it’s a time to consider purposeful ways of making the future different from the past (stop smoking, lose weight, quit kicking the cat, etc.). But instead of boring you with our own ambitious resolves for 2010, we spent our time pondering what other folks in the education policy world should be doing next year. (Ok, we admit, we tacked one of our own onto the end.) After all, that’s what a Gadfly does--it comments on the doings of others. Here’s hoping that our New Year’s Resolutions 2010 for Other People come true.

1. President Barack Obama resolves to shut down New York City’s rubber rooms--right after he closes Guantanamo. Unlike with Gitmo terrorists, though, he shouldn’t bother looking for jurisdictions to take those teachers.

2. Gene Wilhoit and Dane Lind resolve to get Texas and Alaska to sign on to the Common Core initiative by adding curricular units on “Lone Star History and The Art of Secession” and “The Contributions of Hockey Moms to American Society.”

3. Michelle Rhee resolves not to appear on John Merrow’s Newshour segment more than once a week.

4. Brad Ferro, public school gym teacher in the Bronx and current rubber-room inmate, resolves to take anger-management classes, at least while the reality TV show cameras are rolling.

5. Greg Toppo resolves to keep his tweets to fewer than ten a day.

6. Senator Harkin resolves to learn the value of a dollar.

7. Representative Kline resolves to accept that the federal government isn’t the Antichrist.

8. Whitney Tilson resolves to use the phrase “Stop the Presses!!!” no more than once a week (and with no more than three accompanying exclamation points).

9. Randi Weingarten resolves to cede Dennis Van Roekel some of her airtime--but not too much.

10. If you hadn’t yet noticed, Gadfly is about to turn ten years old. To commemorate this crossroads, he’s decided he needs a makeover--new clothes, new ‘do, new style. But he wants you, his loyal readers, to take a peek in the dressing room as he tries on his new duds. So we’ll be checking in with you, in the form of a survey, over the next few weeks to figure out how the ‘Fly should look in the ‘10s. Stay tuned.

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