Tebow mania’s Frankenstein

Thanks to the now-famous “Tebow law,” homeschoolers across the land are donning decades-old football gear, tattered pinnies, and spittle-laden mouthguards with the rest of their agemates as they try out for public-school-sports teams (in those locales where they haven’t been eliminated due to budget cuts). But, USA Twoaday reports, home-school advocates are pushing for access to more than just the playing field. Some parents, thrilled at finally having some time away from their children, are asking to park their brats in detention, study hall, and in-school suspension. Others are demanding access to school lunches, nurses, and showers. One D.C.-area parent who homeschools her eight children said, “To be honest, I was sick of hearing Jimmy (or was it Janie?) crying when I put him (or her) in timeout and whining about my cooking.” The kids also seem to favor these changes. Little Jimmy (or was it Janie?) told the Gladfly, “I’m stoked to be able to start getting Valentine's Day cards from people with different last names.” The youngster added, with a tear in his (or was it her?) eye, “and maybe one day a locker of my very own.”

Suspension rates for homeschoolers on the rise,” by Greg Tapped-Out, USA Twoaday, March 31, 2012.

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