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North Korea’s pudgy young Supreme Leader, fresh from his triumphal get-together with Dennis Rodman, has determined to broaden his ties to influential individuals named Dennis and non-governmental organizations in the United States.

“We will conquer America with love and other weapons,” Kim declared on Radio Pyongyang, “and I look forward to addressing my comrades in the National Education Association during their convention in July. I shall deliver an address in which I instruct America’s teachers on how to resist the malevolent policies of Great Satan Obama and will offer them online courses delivered by my glorious nation’s expert nuclear physicists to counteract the shortage of qualified high school science teachers in the United States—and also counteract the malevolence of Obama and evil henchman Harold Duncan.”

NEA president Dennis Van Roekel told the Dayton Daily News, “We need all the help we can get.” The White House declined to comment.

RELATED ARTICLE: Tennis Codman, “From one Dennis to another,” Ewe Cork Rhymes, April 1, 2013.

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